Saturday, December 13, 2008

I Can't Breathe!

You wished to go everywhere you want to go. You want to be free like a falcon. You wanted to do everything you want to do. You want to hang out with your friends for a long time as if you don't want to go home.

But the problem is, you cannot "just" be so Bum and Lazy all the way. You still have to do your responsibilities as a: student, daughter, son, employer, teacher, doctor, etc.. One thing that I can't resist is that, setting yourself free for a little time. @_@

Normally, parent's are very protective.. right? What if it's too much? Very exaggerated? Very contradicting in many ways? "as if" they don't want you to be "very" Happy.

Filipino culture is very obsolete in terms of being a "Responsible" Parent. Ugh. Especially if they have the only "unica ija". Duh?! @_@ They were very overprotective. Too much brooding care and concern.

Damn! My neck is wrecked! They wanted me to live in an impeccable cherry blossom. My gosh! I'm already a teenager.
-- "So what if you're teenager? We are you'r parents! We ARE!!" Scary huh? Bite me! LOL.

I want a space to breathe on. I want to enjoy my teenage life. Yes! I admit it >> I'm not happy with them. What if they were reading this? I bet you! - they will say:

"Walang hiya ka?! Pagkatapos namin gawin ang lahat.. nagpapakahirap kami sa trabaho.. masakit na mga katawan namin para lang mapag-aral ka!!!!"

It's not all about "walang hiya!"... It's all about the happiness I wanted to have just a day. I'm just "all ALONE" here inside our house.

This is just me: No sister, No brother, Just go to school, freaky to study, read book, stay in the library, chat with my classmates, do crazy projects, assignments, prepare for exams and quizzes ONLY at school. Eat many foods, drink water, talk to my boyfriend over the Phone. And the rest.... I'm "ALL ALONE" at home. My bestfriend? - Computer. Nothing else.

I have no depravity. So what's the point of being "walang hiya"?

It's so annoying to hear them saying this line:
"Wala ka nang pakinabang dito sa bahay!" insisting that - wala na akong kwentang anak
"Nakakawalang GANA KA! Hindut ka!" .......
"Bakit ba tayo may anak na INUTIL?" ........

Is that how my parents made themselves soo much perfect? They don't see the brightest part of me. If any, just a pixel of appreciation only work. Everything I do is fucked up. They always insist that they are "RIGHT" and I'm "LEFT". How was that?

Another tounge twister:
"Lahat ng magulang gusto mapabuti ang anak.." ...... *yawn*
"Bastos ka tlga! Sumasagot ka pa!"
"Nung panahon namin, hindi kami ganyan sa mga magulang namin"
"Hindi naman masama ang pinapayo namin sayo! Gusto ka lang namin mapabuti"
"Kaya mo nba maging mag-isa sa buhay?"

@_@ Drools. Am I too worst? I don't think so. I'm not doing a shit. I'm not like my asshole cousins who are not studying anymore - a standby - a troublemaker on the street - a whore - nor a criminal.

I have what it takes to be the best. I'm not the typical old fashioned teenager who thinks about bullshit things. I'm not one of them.

I want to shout! It's not all about being INDEPENDENT child. It's not all about abusing a Freedom.

All I want is --> a space to breathe. I want to enjoy my teenage life NOT IN A BAD WAY.

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