Friday, November 19, 2010

Series of Draft

Hahaha! Finally. Hooray to me! I just started my blog again after a few months..
Yes, you got the point! I'm getting to be emotional again :D Well, you know, if someone is reading as I am pertaining to, I really wanted to write about myself how much pain I really feel..but I can't start because something blocks the circulation of my blood that rushes through my veins which keeps my heart aches....

(what now?)
--- Draft v.1

Ding! Ding! Ding!!!! Moving On... So yeah! We think one of the best things to do when dealing this kind of pain (Oops! I mean it).. is to feel it...

(sooo... then?)

--- Draft v.2!! Next next next..

Ok. I finally recovered but I don't have any fcking idea why my heart still aches!! Common!! Leave me alone please.... (I'm still thinking of what to type.... Freehand...)

---- Draft!!!!!! eeeww..

2:17AM, November 20... Grinding in Jade Dynasty MMORPG. Writing a blog... Ok.. I can feel again that my heart is aching.. I don't know.. Something's wrong with me.

---- Draftttttttttttttttttt........... next please O_O

My mom is sleeping beside me... Cos my computer is just here at the living room. Ok.. She's dreaming.. (i looked up at the ceiling. i saw a light.. yeah. there's a light)..

--- Huhuhuhu.. Draft!!!!!!!!!!

Now.. Actually. This blog is supposed to be entitled as: My Heart is Aching!! but I deleted it.. and renamed is as a Series of Draft.. because I don't really... fckingggggggggggg idea on how am I going to express my feelings!! I'm annoyedddddddddd.. I need someone to talk to.. to flirt with. to hang on.. to chit chat... to make me feel comfortable.. AARrrgghhh! I'm getting crazy.


--- Draft v.

Moved On (100.00% Passed!!)

But the question is: Heartache (100.00% Still Suffering)


Thursday, August 5, 2010

A Beautiful Life...

As I jumped off the building's 11th floor....... ....

10th floor

9th floor

7th floor

6th floor

4th floor

3rd floor

2nd floor

Now,.. the Ground Zero..

Yup. Life is not that bad after all, Life is beautiful and precious.... Do make the best of it..........

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Canon 550D: My 1st DSLR

Ohlala!! I just bought my first ever DSLR in my entire fucking life.I really didn't expect that this gadget would be mine. Hell Yeah! I couldn't hardly believe it. This has been one of my dreams - to have a digital camera.. coz I wanted to take a souvenirs in different places. They said: A Picture is worth a thousand words...and I soo love it <3

Last night, I was exploring teh cam together with the help of the user manual. Taking pictures on my room. blah blah blah! It's fun.

Then, early this morning... I called my guy friend Thomas and asked something about my problem in shutter. He told me so many things on how to take care a DSLR. Yeah! It's super duper fragile. Omg! I should not be careless this time. This is not an ordinary cam anymore. lol. He also suggests me what is the best lens for the beginners. He explained about Auto Focus stuff, the Subject of the Photo, Tilting, Blur effects, Noise, and lotsa lotsa "photography terminologies"..

Oh dang! I've gotta need to learn more about the three MOST IMPORTANT things: Aperture, ISO and Shutter Speed. hohoho!

After in-taking his bit bites lectures, I said to myself: Uhmmm... Ok.. Please I need a tissue paper! I guess... ugh.. My nose is already bleeding!" *Looks for someone's help*.

Anyways, lemme share you my 1st ever newbie shots using my DSLR:

Also Thanks to Mr. Jhay Gamba for welcoming me to the World of Photography.
I just don't get why he said it was a GAS. rofl. Sorry I'm totally noob.

I hope that I'll be one of the best photographer someday.
Oh well.. time will tell if when. *chuckles*

Just learned that: Don't rush things, it will come to your life.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Yes! It's all coming back.

Yay! Hello.. I wasn't able to update my Blog for soo long.. So, Just to give you a quick overview about what happened to me for the past few months..

Late January, I've been working so much for my side line job as a graphic artist.. It really made my head twirl down the desk and shuffle my eyes to cast creativity.

Mid of February and early March, oohh noo! This is the very stressful month I've encountered last semester. It really made me sick (oops! not only me but also my fellow classmates) coz of the requirements that our class need to finish for Logic Circuit. Staying awake til next morning just to run one circuit.. Spending so much money for our materials. . blah blah.....

Late March till Mid of April, well.. It's all about the Online Gaming World.. Attended e-Games Domination 4 last April 10 and met new friends.. So many things happened in both virtual world and real life matters. Been meeting my clan-mates and have fun. Chill out and relax.. Bum time :D

Till Summer class started, Well.. the continuation of my Advance Logic class reigns as well as Principle of Communications. We've been working so much here in this subjects coz it requires outside school interview, documentation, reports, and make videos for our project. It's not stressful because our professor gave us enough time to do all those things..

Oh June... my birthday.. very memorable because there are so many visitors (clan-mates and classmates). Got a videoke and inuman session then, suddenly electricity shut down in the middle of celebration. LOL.

Ok.. I don't need to state all of the events glanced to my daily life.. It will take long stories and commotions if I'm going to put it here everything. (kinda lazy) :D

So, the major point of refreshing my blog is to share my feelings "again". Ya! you heard that.. People might see me smiling, laughing, sharing weird and green jokes, stubborn and funny. But yeah.. It's just a first impression about me - being jolly. But deep within my heart... I've been hurt sooooo many times.. eeww..

It's like everytime I walk.. I saw two lovers, holding hands, kissing each other and happy staying together.

I shop, stroll, eat and watch cinema alone. Dating myself.. Ugh. I'm totally upset. Looking into my eyes, you'll see how much pain I feel up until now.

The feeling of unwanted... crawls my veins up to my head. Depression eats me.. and I'm used to it.

I had been the child, or the damaged one in a relationship.... I need comfort and assurance. This definitely seems unfair and a huge burden to bear. As a result of my past and the feeling unloved invariably leads to lower self-esteem, lack of confidence, and other personality traits which can send any potential lover running - fast! LOL!!!!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Tragic Love Story

There were Two (2) Rival Clans in Zhu Xian Empire; Lian Hua - Clan and Bing si Lu - Clan. However, through the unconditional love of Lu-Kun (zAYTie) and Feng-Bao (alphonse), they sacrificed their lives for the sake of Peace and Unity of their Families.

Our movie adopted "Shinobi" because it is a wonderful and tragic romance, with drama, action and fantasy. The story slightly recalls Romeo and Juliet, with the impossible love of two people that belong to enemy Clans / Family.

Credits to: Ring of Tragic Love (Anime Movie) and Somewhere by Within Temptations for the background Music.

Video is not possible without the help of Kiera, Xylver, JemEnzo and Exo for lending their voices.

Here's the embedded video:

Thursday, January 21, 2010

200 Pounds Beauty

Me and Ginnie had been strolling around in SM Manila whenever our 3 hours vacant hit our time. It's our routine for this semester, maybe it's because we're irregular, we do experience this sched more often. Funny to think that we've been spending our money too much in food. lol. Country Style~ French Baker~ Joey Pepperoni~ Roast House~ etc.

And so, Last Wednesday, our professor in Control Systems dismissed us early. We decided to have our dinner, again, in SM Manila (advertisement lol). Oh well, we wanted something new for our taste buds, that's why we went in a fast food chain for us to choose variety of foods. I told her that we should take sea-foods coz our stomach is populated with pork. lmao. Then we dropped off in McDonald's for dessert.

After a long conversation, we heard Boy bands songs playing on the track and Ginnie asked me to take a peak in Music Bar. Sort of genres we've been looking in each shelf discussing reviews. OPM Section. Pop. Rock. Country. Then we glanced at the Movie Section... Local and Foreign Films.... blah blah..

Oops! Something caught my attention before we went off. It was the "200 Pounds Beauty" that started to hunger my curiosity because of the cover.

Ok. Before I start my review, let my eyes finished crying. Hell Yeah. I'm in the moment of truth
while making this entry.


Here's the Plot of the Story which I googled it and copied at Wiki.

Kang Han-na is an overweight phone sex employee and a secret vocalist for Ammy, a famous Korean pop singer who actually lip syncs as she cannot sing. Instead of being famous for her own amazing vocal talent, Han-na hides behind Ammy's performance stage and sings during Ammy's concerts, and records all of Ammy's songs. One day, Ammy ungratefully humiliates her in front of the music company's director Sang-jun during his birthday party, knowing full well that Han-na has a crush on him. While crying in the bathroom, Han-na overhears Sang-jun telling Ammy that even though they are just using Han-na for her voice, they must be kind to her so she will not walk out on them.

Heartbroken, Han-na attempts suicide but is interrupted by a phone call from one of her phone sex regulars who happens to be a top plastic surgeon. She decides to get a head-to-toe plastic surgery instead. The surgeon at first refuses to operate on Han-na, but Han-na threatens to blackmail the surgeon by telling his wife about his calls. Then, Han-na makes a moving speech that she does not want to undergo surgery merely to be beautiful, but for the sake of love and as a boost in confidence, and the surgeon is deeply moved. Han-na puts herself in seclusion for a year as she recovers from the changes.

When she comes back from the hospital, Han-na is incredibly beautiful and slender. No one, not even her best friend, Chung-min, recognizes her. With Chung-min's help, she creates a new identity for herself; she is now a Korean-American from California named Jenny. After auditioning to be Ammy's secret vocalist again, she earns her own recording contract instead from Sang-jun, claiming that she is "all-natural". In the meantime, Ammy, oblivious just like everyone else of Han-na's new identity, desperately tries to find Han-na so that she can record her own postponed album (since she cannot sing the songs herself) by spending time with Hanna's father who is in a hospital with some mental problems, possibly Alzheimer's. Meanwhile, romance begins to blossom between "Jenny" and Sang-Jun, as he continues to promote Jenny, in effect boosting Hanna's confidence on her new self. However, Ammy, through spending time with Han-na's father and Jenny, eventually realizes that this Jenny is actually Han-na in disguise.

During a date one night, as sparks fly, Jenny supposedly stripped for Sang-Jun in the character of a nurse, through a phone sex session. After Jenny has fallen asleep, he sees the African character Jenny had drawn on the glass and realizes it was a sign he had seen before. He remembers that when Han-na still existed and he had not met "Jenny" yet, Han-na had drawn the exact same signs on a sheet of music. Then he adds all of the signs up and realizes as well that "Jenny" is actually Kang Han-na but he keeps this information to himself.

"Jenny's" debut single 'Maria' becomes a hit and the recording company holds a party to celebrate its release. On the day of a party however, Ammy brings "Jenny's" father, in an attempt to blow Han-na's cover. Han-na's father tries to return Han-na's Barbie doll to her, which has always been Han-na's favourite childhood gift from him. Startled by the sudden appearance of her father and not knowing how to react in front of all the people, including Sang-jun, Han-na denies knowing her father and calls him a fan instead when Sang-jun asks her if the old man is her guest. As her father keeps on insisting on giving the doll to Han-na, Sang-jun drags him away from Jenny and accidentally knocks him down onto the floor. Desperate to keep her true identity a secret, Han-na made no move to help her father. It was Chung-min who finally helps him up, casts Jenny a furious look and leads Hanna's father away from the party.

After the party, Sang-jun and 'Jenny' were the only ones left in the room. Sang-jun reveals to 'Jenny' that he knows her true identity but is now cold and distant. He seems to be unable to forgive her for lying to him but says that he will still work to promote 'Jenny' and carry on with her concert scheduled the next day. Han-na breaks down at this point, heartbroken and unable to pretend to be someone else anymore. Han-na tells him that it is incredibly frustrating and painful not being able to be just be herself but have to live a lie, especially in front of him. The surgery that took a whole year to recover from was not nearly as painful as realizing that she still could not be close to Sang-jun. As Sang-jun tries to comfort her, she brushed away his efforts saying, "You broke my heart. Tissue paper cannot fix it."

The day of "Jenny's" first concert, Sang-jun still insisted on continuing Jenny's concert, despite his father's protests. Later, he encourages a distraught Jenny to do this concert, not for the sake of the fans or the company but for herself, thus implying that he has forgiven her and will continue to support her. At the concert, Jenny couldn't sing and later breaks down from the pressure of seeing her father being dragged away by security and tells everybody to stop. She then reveals to the public that Jenny is a "fake," and that she is not "all-natural", as she had claimed, but is "plastic". However, nobody seems to believe her. She proceeds tearfully to tell the large crowd her story: how she has abandoned everything that is dear to her - her best friend and father - to get to where she is. She also tells the crowd about how along the way to fame and fortune she has also lost her own identity and that she now no longer knows who she is. Just then, the screens behind her on the stage started to show a clip of the old, obese Han-na, singing angelically. Han-na turns around and sees her old image and tells the crowd that the image is the real her. The crowd, moved by her sincere confession, responds by chanting "It's okay," and Han-na rekindles her relationships with her father and best friend. She drops the stage name "Jenny" and re-releases a CD with her own name, Hanna, and becomes a highly successful music artist, gaining many fans and anti-fans along the way. Sang-jun realizes the very thing about Han-na that had always drawn him to her was Han-na's innocence. However he also realizes that she has moved on and is now content with who she is.


My Movie Review:

Ok, here we go. For me, this is one of the BEST Korean Movie I'd ever watched. It simply reflects some part of my life and I'd be giving a few different reasons why 200 Pounds Beauty attract me.

First on my list is ...because I'm almost on my way to Han-na's foot steps. I mean, not totally always being ignored but (sometimes) because of my figure. I'm also suffering from having extremely poor self-esteem. I knew some of my friends treated me differently than that of sexy girls.

Yeah. I can really relate to the story especially at the scene that a delivery man had been stalking her and capturing video. Instead of getting mad to the folk, Han-na even protected the guy against Sang-jun. Let me quote the line:

"Give him a break. He did it out of liking me.
What's the big deal?
What's a person to do when all they can do is watch from afar?"

"Do you have any idea what it feels like...
not being able to confess one's love?"

As a die hard fan, he'd been doing it just only for himself. He got no intention of ruining Han-nah's image as well. So what's the big deal of liking someone? Yet, all they can do is to watch from afar and imagine impossible into reality. --- This part also made me cry. I have nothing to do but to dream.

Second is.. the film ingeniously touched my heart and mind, but doesn’t forget to made me laugh. Full of lessons- thoughts -words of wisdom and quotations. I love it ♥ The film is a bit sad but I think people can still understand and sympathize with Han-nah's situation or mine as well. LOL.

Sometimes, I loose my hope. Cry. Frequently getting depressed and had the feeling of rejection. Oh! I remember, Chung-min says..
"There are 3 kinds of woman: a Treasure. a Winner. and you.. a Rejection.

I really want to thank Ginnie for giving me some overview about the film before I watched it ♥
For the people who watched this.

I strongly recommend readers of my blog to watch this. I bet you will cry, if you do. lol.
I'm gonna rate this 200/100. Hahahaha!~

That's all for today :)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Jade Dynasty Ascension

I tried to download Jade Dynasty Ascension Client on my Netbook,.
after an hour, here it goes:

then, after installing the game client, it directly linked me to Registration Page at And so, I tried to create an account so that I can explore the 2 new factions and test my Netbook if it can handle a high graphic MMORPG client. sarcastic_hand.gif

Unfortunately, it says:
Disabled Region
Our sincerest apologies, we cannot provide service to players in your region or to players using open proxies.
Please contact support at to resolve this issue.

Bad thing our country is blocked from US-West, US-East and in Europe servers..

Anyways, here's the Launcher:

and the Log In Portal from the server..
I noticed that there are 2 channels (or if I'm mistaken, It's a 2 Server.. whatever...)
as you can see from the Screen-shot--there's a separate Channel/Server for PKers

The Billows
The Wildlands PVP

So, I'm wondering if ZX PH will have a separate channel/server for PvP when Ascension came.

But, based from the experiences of my foreign-friend, She told me that a lot of players were complaining about it because they had PvE and PvP Channels.It sucks when BH is in PvP Channel. Well I guess, it's not a channel anymore, instead they create 2 separate Servers. One for the PK-Free Server and Normal Server.

Weeeeee.. Can't wait for ZX PH Ascension.

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