Thursday, June 24, 2010

Yes! It's all coming back.

Yay! Hello.. I wasn't able to update my Blog for soo long.. So, Just to give you a quick overview about what happened to me for the past few months..

Late January, I've been working so much for my side line job as a graphic artist.. It really made my head twirl down the desk and shuffle my eyes to cast creativity.

Mid of February and early March, oohh noo! This is the very stressful month I've encountered last semester. It really made me sick (oops! not only me but also my fellow classmates) coz of the requirements that our class need to finish for Logic Circuit. Staying awake til next morning just to run one circuit.. Spending so much money for our materials. . blah blah.....

Late March till Mid of April, well.. It's all about the Online Gaming World.. Attended e-Games Domination 4 last April 10 and met new friends.. So many things happened in both virtual world and real life matters. Been meeting my clan-mates and have fun. Chill out and relax.. Bum time :D

Till Summer class started, Well.. the continuation of my Advance Logic class reigns as well as Principle of Communications. We've been working so much here in this subjects coz it requires outside school interview, documentation, reports, and make videos for our project. It's not stressful because our professor gave us enough time to do all those things..

Oh June... my birthday.. very memorable because there are so many visitors (clan-mates and classmates). Got a videoke and inuman session then, suddenly electricity shut down in the middle of celebration. LOL.

Ok.. I don't need to state all of the events glanced to my daily life.. It will take long stories and commotions if I'm going to put it here everything. (kinda lazy) :D

So, the major point of refreshing my blog is to share my feelings "again". Ya! you heard that.. People might see me smiling, laughing, sharing weird and green jokes, stubborn and funny. But yeah.. It's just a first impression about me - being jolly. But deep within my heart... I've been hurt sooooo many times.. eeww..

It's like everytime I walk.. I saw two lovers, holding hands, kissing each other and happy staying together.

I shop, stroll, eat and watch cinema alone. Dating myself.. Ugh. I'm totally upset. Looking into my eyes, you'll see how much pain I feel up until now.

The feeling of unwanted... crawls my veins up to my head. Depression eats me.. and I'm used to it.

I had been the child, or the damaged one in a relationship.... I need comfort and assurance. This definitely seems unfair and a huge burden to bear. As a result of my past and the feeling unloved invariably leads to lower self-esteem, lack of confidence, and other personality traits which can send any potential lover running - fast! LOL!!!!

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